RSVP, Dumbass

Planning a party is sometimes fun. (Even for a 5 year old's birthday.)

Presents are picked, a location is (finally) settled on, and invitations are sent. An email address and an omni-present cell phone number are included - with a request to RSVP.

What's the etymology of the acronym R.S.V.P.? Well, Wiktionary has this to say:

From French, Répondez s'il vous plaît In France.

Simply translated to English, even Texan, it means "Hey dumbass, tell me if you're bringing your spawn to the freaking party or not, or I might not give them or your gimlet ass anything to eat or drink if you show up without letting me know. Oh yeah, don't call me 30 minutes before the party, asking if you can bring three siblings of your little darling - as their father can't watch them because the big game is on and you know, he likes him some beers."

Somehow, I doubt that my definition will make into any "Miss Manners" type books.

The main reason for the RSVP request is so I can forecast the amount of pizza to buy. I don't want to have 6 pies standing by, getting cold to have 3 kids and 3 adults show up. I loves me some pizza, but the fridge won't hold 5 pies.

I'm sure it's going to either be feast or famine. 4 kids will show, or 17. I'm booked for 10. So probably more will show up and I'll end up coughing up $10 per head additional to get them admitted to the place, and will run out of food in 5 minutes.

I just hope the little guy has fun.